Finding Peace for Your Family

So you’ve got church one to two times on Sunday, dinner with the Joneses on Tuesday, dance and gymnastics every day after school, and football in the fall. The lawn needs to be raked, the dirty clothes pile is overflowing, and the dishes are filling up the sink.

Life, for families in 2017, is crazy to say the least. Where do we find time for each other? Where do we find time for our marriage? Where do we find time for ourselves? Where do we find time for Christ?

Usually, I write about things that we have gone through and dealt with in our marriage. Today, I’m writing about something that we (especially me) are dealing with today…this very moment. I think it is crucial though, so I want to share it. How do we find peace, as a couple, in the midst of our busy lives?

In Colossians 3:15, Paul implores the Colossians to "let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” 

First, let’s talk about peace. In Colossians here, Paul is meaning it to be a whole, or mended, self. That’s exactly what we all want to be, to help lead our families, right? He’s also very clearly talking to individuals, who were all called to be at peace together. 

Let's let peace rule in our hearts, individually, so that the body (your family) can have peace together.

Paul says to “let the peace of Christ rule…” He doesn't say to create the peace or take hold of “the peace.” This is a passive action that comes from knowing Christ and allowing him to minister. The Holy Spirit is the one here today, actively giving you peace. We “let” Him. It’s your heart; you must allow Him access. 

That looks different for different people. For me, it is taking quiet time to reflect on what is in the way and consciously telling Him (for my benefit) that I am setting something aside and allowing His peace to reign in me. For you, it might look different. It always includes making a decision to set whatever is going on aside, though.

Paul also leaves a clue at the end of the verse for us. “And be thankful” is there for a reason. Have you ever known someone who seemed truly at peace in their life and with their family who wasn’t thankful? That’s rhetorical, because the answer is no. 

To be whole, and to have peace, regardless of the situation, you must be thankful. 

Be thankful for kids to take to soccer practice. Be thankful for good friends to have dinner with. Be thankful for your extraordinary marriage. Without that, none of this works.

Hopefully, you can relate to this, and it is helpful. The Lord is ministering to Laura and me a lot about peace right now, and I think that’s for a reason. Your life may not be peaceful, but it is much better to be at peace in the midst of it.

~Howell

@G2WHubs

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!

This holiday always reminds me of my grandmother. She was a unique woman, full of elegance and grace, and her holiday table would’ve made Emily Post proud.

Her kitchen portrayed an absolute rotation of chaos and cleanliness—dishes were dirtied and washed and dried and the cycle repeated. She loved to cook and bake

As a young child, I was given easier jobs, like stirring the pot, drying dishes, or licking the bowl of batter.

Bammie and me in PJs :) 

Later, my tasks included making the crescent rolls, and I became the best crescent-roll-maker you can imagine.

At some point, I graduated to dessert duty, where I got to help with making pumpkin and apple pies. One of my favorite Thanksgiving memories involves my cousin, Kelley—the year we made the apple pies completely on our own. The crusted strips on top did not look like Bammie’s, but we were quite proud of our accomplishment.

This year marks the 10^th Thanksgiving without my grandmother, and I always miss her most this time of year.

The holiday might be based on historical events and long-standing tradition, but to me, it’s always been about family—at least as much as it’s about food. ;) 

I’m thankful for my family, for my in-laws, for my husband. Life is precious, and relationships are valuable.

You might be feasting on turkey and green bean casserole, and you’ll be overloaded with potatoes and crescent rolls and carbs, and you’ll likely have a sugar high from all the cakes and pies and holiday goodies.

But take some time to give thanks, to share your gratitude for each other, and to relish each memory. 

What I'm Thankful for This Thanksgiving

I want to take the time, in this season of Thanksgiving, to say how thankful I am for Laura. Hopefully, in saying all this, your appreciation for your spouse will grow. God put us together to be greater than the sum of our parts. We met 10 years ago, and my life changed. I think that back then, we were really good together, but we have both grown in ways that make us great together now.

When I met Laura, I thought I was on a path that would ultimately lead to success in many ways. In my own eyes, I was mature, ambitious, and “going places.” After meeting her and falling in love, I found out what really mattered. I found the reason behind the drive, and we have gone places in our lives in ten years that I thought would take thirty.

Proverbs 31:11, in talking about what a great wife is, says, “Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.” That verse sums Laura up to me. I know that whatever she does, she will enrich my life. When she speaks or acts in public or in private, she represents our family with dignity and forthrightness. She always keeps me in mind in her decisions, and her choices reflect my best interest. My goal, as a husband, is to do the same for her. She inspires me to be a better husband without ever trying to. That is an incredible quality in a wife.

Laura and I have journeyed through many great times and difficulties, and I’m sure that many more will come. Through both of these, we have grown together. We know each other to a point that we actually finish each other’s sentences and have the same thoughts, often at the same time. This amazes me because when we were dating, it seemed impossible to be on the same page sometimes. I know her deepest desires and fears, and she knows mine. It is an incredible thing to share this bond, and I will fight forever to keep it and grow it. I pray that same desire comes for everyone who reads this  because marriage is something that must be fought for and cared for constantly.

She is the person whom I am most thankful for, in this season and every season. Laura is an incredible wife to me and an incredible friend and influence to so many others. I praise God every day that she is in my life. 

Who are you most thankful for in this time? What has your spouse meant to you?

~Howell

@G2WHubs

Part 3: Giving Thanks for the People in My Life

This month, I am focusing on gratitude because I’m learning the degree of peace in my heart is directly proportional to my amount of thanksgiving.

And I want God’s peace to rule in my heart.

And I want to be thankful.

I recently attended two funerals within three days. Both men were incredible leaders and mentors, and as I listened to the testimonies at their funerals, I sat amazed at the legacies they left.

They influenced people because they poured themselves into the lives of others.

Coach Warwick was my golf coach in high school, and he had an incredible gift of prophecy—the kind that called forth the truth in someone; he saw what could be, not what was.

A young man shared a story at the funeral that Coach had prophesied over him the first day he walked into the classroom.

I smiled through my tears. He did the same thing for this fourteen year old—before he was my coach, before he even knew my name. He pierced my heart and pulled out the true me that was hidden in there.

What an amazing gift and influence!

I meet close to a hundred new students as they enter my classroom each semester, and I want to have that kind of influence and encouragement for them. I want to hear God, to see each heart as He sees it, not as it appears on the outside.

Both of these men left an inspiring legacy, but they both died unexpectedly (and too soon in my opinion!). They left wives and children and young grandchildren.

I kept thinking of my own parents who are close to the same age, and not only did I find myself begging God not to take them away any time soon, but also I reminded myself to give thanks.

We are not promised tomorrow. And we are not promised that our loves ones—our spouses, our children, our parents and siblings and grandparents—will be here tomorrow either.

I have been blessed with an amazing husband, with an extraordinary family, including awesome parents and siblings, and with great friendship.

The work, the stress, the ‘to do’ lists, even the bills—that’ll all fade in and out.

But relationships are forever.

They’re worth sowing into.

And they are the greatest source of my gratitude because the best gifts God ever gave me are the people He placed in my life.

Let’s give thanks for our relationships today! (Click to Tweet) 

Part 2: Giving Thanks for Who I Am in Christ

I’m continuing this month’s focus on gratitude, and let me tell you, being intentionally focused on all that I’m thankful for continues to bring a wealth of peace to my heart.

Today I feel most thankful for who I am in Christ. The trouble, some days, is believing it.

I don't think I'll ever get a tattoo (for a few reasons—none of which are religious!!), but if I were to get a tattoo, I think I would tattoo the word BELIEVE in pretty cursive font on my wrist. 

That's the reminder I need every day. 

Jesus said it like this—this is the work you do: to believe (John 6:29). 

We have to believe three areas—all of which shape our new nature: 1) who we are in Christ; 2) who He says He is; and 3) what He says He’ll do.

Believe who I am in Christ 

- that I am whole, complete, lacking nothing

- that I am healed

- that I am enough 

- that I am redeemed, restored

- that I am righteous 

Believe who He says He is

- that He is faithful

- that He is good

- that He is enough

- that He is all-loving

- that He is healer

- that He is redeemer

- that He is shepherd and provider

- that He is Abba Daddy, Jesus Savior Lord, and Holy Helper

Believe His word, what He says He will do

- that He accomplishes His word

- that He finishes the good work 

- that He restores my soul

- that He perfects that which concerns me

- that He leads me to still waters

You may be thinking: How does believing who I am become a source of gratitude? Well, lemme tell you; it’s changed my life!

I didn’t come up with this phrase (and I’m sorry I don’t know to whom to give credit), but I like to consider myself a “recovering perfectionist.”

If Mary and Martha were a scale—a spectrum of sorts—I would be on the high Martha end. Always doing. Always working. Always stressing—and comparing and feeling exhausted.

That’s who I was—outside of who I am in Christ.

I worried constantly what others thought, and I struggled all the time with guilt—that I wasn’t doing enough or that I wasn’t enough to do it right.

I’m not saying I never struggle with those thoughts anymore, but today, I am grateful to walk in and believe who I am in Christ (emphasis on believe because it’s not always what I feel).

Because of the finished work of the cross, because of all that Jesus accomplished, He made me righteous and at peace with God. It’s always and forever as it should be between us.

I don’t have to work to please.

I don’t have to carry guilt.

I don’t have to worry that I’m insufficient or insignificant.

What a gift!

He says I’m the head and not the tail, and He thinks I’m pretty awesome.

Who I am in Christ has become a source of peace for me; it’s changed how I think about myself, how I interact with others, and how I interact with the Lord.

Today, I’m thankful for Jesus, for the cross, and for who He made me to be when I became hidden in Him.

Click to Tweet

"Let the Peace of God Rule in Your Heart... And Be Thankful."

I love when God gives Howell and me the same word at the same time. I know it’s a moment to listen up—He wants us to hear this!

Several weeks ago, the Lord put Colossians 3:15 on my heart: “Let the peace of God rule in your heart…. And be thankful.”

My sister had given me a chalk board decoration for Christmas, and it sat without a message on my fireplace for quite some time. She told me she would write on it whatever I wanted.

When God put that verse on my heart as a word for me this season, I asked my sister to work her chalk magic and put it on the board for me.

That same weekend, the Lord put the same verse on Howell’s heart. We hadn’t talked about it—and I hadn’t told him what I had told Michalea. (He probably didn’t even notice the blank board had left the fireplace. :))

I came home from being out of town, and he had written on our little message board (where we write notes to each other—yeah, I know, we’re cute and cheesy :)).

I walked into the kitchen to see, “Let the peace of God rule in your heart.”

I asked him about it, and he said the Lord gave him that verse at men’s retreat, and He reminded him of it this weekend while I was gone.

I laughed out loud.

My new—and pretty—board came home last week, and every morning, as I sit in my chair and drink coffee and talk to Jesus, I get to be reminded of His words:

“Let the peace of God rule in your heart…”

…. When you feel stressed or overwhelmed with work.

….When you feel anxious about your writing projects.

….When you feel insecure in your friendships.

….When you feel easily annoyed or frustrated or moody.

….When you feel discouraged.

…. When you feel not enough.

…. When …. Always.

Always. Forever.

Walk in peace.

Peace is not only a fruit of the spirit—a by-product of Him when He’s moving in me—but it’s also His kingdom.

Romans 14:17 says that His kingdom is righteousness, peace, and joy. When I say, Lord, let you kingdom come today, I am opening the doors for His peace to rule in my heart.

In this moment. In every moment.

When something rules or reigns, it means it has the ultimate authority or power. The peace of God should govern us, control us, lead us, dominate us, manage us, dictate us.

But we are Americans—and we like our freedom! We don’t like those kinds of verbs (unless, of course, we’re in the position of power).

Letting God’s peace rule, reign, control our hearts isn’t really a suggestion, though; it’s a command.

Col 3:15 holds another command—and I love how short and simple it is: “…And be thankful.”

Again, this isn’t suggested; it’s commanded.

I’ve blogged about gratitude many, many times because it’s a word that has become central to my relationship with God. When I lose my thankful heart, my alignment gets out of whack really fast.

When I forget to be thankful, I become entitled—thinking not only that God owes me but also that He’s forgotten me or that He’s holding out on me.

Sooner or later, that attitude will trickle down into my relationships, too—probably starting with my own marriage.

And before I know it, there’s not only no gratitude in my heart; there’s no peace there either.

A thankful heart invites the peace of God to dictate our lives—our feelings, our thoughts, our decisions, our attitude, our words.

These two go together: Let the peace of God rule in your heart…and be thankful.

If you’re not experiencing peace today, I encourage you to spend time thanking God for what He has done for you.

I’m taking my own personal challenge to do this, and for the month of May, I want Thursdays to focus on areas of thankfulness.

Dear friends, care to join me? Let’s see how God’s peace can rule in our hearts when we are thankful. 

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