Ours marriage has only gotten stronger over time, and we are thankful we get to share what we’ve learned with you. Today, I want to focus on a few truths that I’ve discovered over the past nine years.
Go to the God’s Word for help. I’ve probably read Ephesians 5 more times than I can count. Paul has so many excellent insights into marriage, and Jesus presents incredible wisdom on the subject too. Check out Ephesians 4 and 5, Matthew 19, and Mark 10.
Second, communicate expectations. Whether this is communicating your expectations of what the other person should do, or communicating what you’ll do or when you’ll be somewhere--do it. It can change your marriage. How many arguments have you been in because one or both of you had a different idea of how an event, time, or aspect of your marriage would play out? This is something that I’m still learning, but even so, it has changed our marriage for the better.
Sex is really important. In my opinion, Christian culture downplays the importance of sex as a reaction to today’s secular culture. While it is important that sex be kept within the context of marriage, it is an essential part of marriage. It can be a big part of what makes a marriage great or terrible. My advice here is to not avoid the subject with your spouse. This should be something that is talked about frequently. Don’t be afraid to pick up a Christian book about this or ask someone you trust. We have.
Lastly, don’t be stubborn. Your spouse will change you over time. It’s okay. Laura and I have grown more alike over the past few years, and we think that’s a good thing. There are things that I like about my life now that I wouldn’t have considered before living with her. People often hold on to their idiosyncrasies and little habits when they get married, as if that is what makes them who they are. Only God defines who you are, not the laundry on the floor or the thing your spouse does that drives you crazy.
I hope these little tidbits blessed you today. I pray that you have many, many years of wedded bliss. An extraordinary marriage is possible; you just have to believe and work at it.