When Howell and I were dating, the biggest source of our conflicts usually boiled down to personality differences. I was serious and usually stressed about school (or something) while he was calm, laid back, and never worried about anything. At the time, I didn’t appreciate the differences, but over the years, I’ve learned how important it is for us to balance each other.
We may have shared this story before, but we met during my senior year of college. I was serious about school—focused, determined, and probably not a whole lot of fun. When Howell found out that I’d never skipped a class before, he made it his mission to get me to skip just once.
In my last semester, I finally did—but only on a day I thought I could and only after I emailed the professor to let her know I wouldn’t be in class (yes, still so responsible). I think we went to a movie or drove out to the lake—I honestly don’t remember, but I remember thinking, this guy is good for me.
About a month ago, Howell was in Lubbock and had the afternoon off. He called me on my lunch break to come join him. Although I have plenty of vacation hours (all of which expire June 30), my pulse started to race. I can’t just leave. I’m on my lunch break. I didn’t tell anyone. I have to ask. I have to be responsible.
But I went (after responsibly asking for permission—Ha!) and y’all, we had so much fun. We shopped and got ice cream and spent a completely un-planned afternoon together. I was a little stressed at first—I kept thinking about work and whether I should’ve left and whether someone would lock up my office and whether my emails would wait one more day.
Once I got there, though, the stress and the worry melted away, and I was thinking later, on the drive back, that even ten years later, he could still talk me into a skip day.
|Our photo to commemorate the spontaneous afternoon off|
I’m grateful for Howell, for my highest complement who has taught me how to have fun and be spontaneous, how to relax, how to let go, how to be at peace.
He is calm and constant, and the Lord knew just what I needed.
Two weeks ago, he blogged about the chaos in our little world these days (update—the kitchen is ALMOST done!), but there’s no one I’d rather walk with through the chaos than him.
Married friends, if the differences divide you, I encourage you to consider a different perspective. It’s a good thing your spouse isn’t just like you! Instead think about how he or she creates a balance in your home.