Today, I want to talk about something that I’ve touched on before, but I think is really important and often overlooked, so I’m bringing it up again. I really believe this is one of the dividing lines between “okay” marriages and great marriages. What is it? It’s supporting your spouse’s interests and endeavors.
What do I mean by these? It’s easiest for me to describe how it works in our marriage, and maybe you can apply it to yours. Laura supports me by taking an interest in things I like or participating in personal projects that I’m attempting. She goes to see comic book movies with me, she watches sports teams I like, she goes to historical sites, and she even goes on long hikes with me to help me toward my fitness goal of rucking events.
This isn’t how most couples function, and I don’t think you have to share every single interest in your life. But I do think you need some overlap. I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t have gone to see Justice League on her own, and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t watch all those Hallmark movies at Christmas time on my own. That’s the beauty of it, though. We truly do enjoy those crossover things. Not because we would do it on our own, but because seeing someone you love find something they really like and enjoying it with them is a really good feeling.
This is quality time I’m talking about here. I see so many husbands and wives say things like, “I don’t care about antiquing, she can do that with her friends” or “I could care less about going out in the woods and sitting in the cold.” There is a new level of friendship, which is important in your marriage, that is achieved when you just do things together.
Try it out. I really think you’ll find it makes a difference. I don’t think diving head first into every interest or activity that your spouse is into is a good idea. It will probably overwhelm you both. Start with their favorite thing. Take an interest. Go participate. See where that leads you. I think you’ll be happy with the time you get to spend together.