"You are good, and do good." Psalms 119:68
You are good, and what You do is good, and if I really believe that at my core, isn't that the key? When I lose heart, when my faith withers, isn't it really a doubt in Your goodness? Could You still be a good Daddy, even in the face of a "No"? Could You really be trustworthy to hold all my hopes and fears and dreams and longings? Or do I need to settle those for myself?
Faith and humility are the counterpart, the antidote, to pride and unbelief.
Unbelief says You're not really all that You say You are -- You're not good, and I can't trust You. And so, in my pride, I'll believe instead I can somehow do better on my own.
But open palms and a heart surrendered says, Daddy, I can't do it. I can't and shouldn't and don't want to write the story that only You can write. The one that is already penned and perfect. Faith and humility says, I am not enough, but You are. You are good, and what You do is good. And I can trust You because I believe that deep down.
When at the core of me, I believe -- really believe -- You are good, then I am safe and secure. When, from my depths, I trust You deeply and fully, then I am free.
When we don't give thanks in all circumstances, we are faced with either our selfishness that forgets to pause and ponder, to acknowledge His grace that rescues us over and over, despite ourselves, or our doubt: Can I really thank Him in all things, for this? -- even this! And we begin to wonder, is He really good? Is He worthy of my thanks, He who allows this?
And so, if we thank Him at all, we thank Him despite this, rather than for this. But when we thank Him for it all, it's an expression of our faith, our gratitude, our humility, and our trust -- in His inherent goodness, despite all that we see and feel.
Eyes closed. Head bowed. I thank Him for it all: the blessings and disappointments, to find joy in every trial. The dark cloud leaks a ray of light -- the trapped glimmer of hope. I see it through the rain: a picture of His grace.
My trust buries deeper and deeper still, like the roots of our pecan trees in search of water -- and life and all that sustains. If I really plant my trust deep down, then I am free, I am released. I am safe to thank Him for it all because I know -- yes, I trust -- He is good.