It's crazy how when you step out in faith to do something, you're suddenly faced with challenges. Sometimes we say it's Satan attacking our decision; sometimes we say we're being tested and refined. I'm not sure what this falls under, but let's just say this--Hal and I made a decision to step out in faith, and we're certainly facing challenges. :)
About three weeks ago, we made the decision to go to Guatemala for a mission trip with COTR this summer. The cost to go is $3000, and Paige told us to be prepared to pay about 1/3 of that amount, even if we raise support. At the time, we thought that's not so bad. We could do that... Then I got sick--spent $200 in prescriptions and doctor visits, followed by an even more expensive trip to the ER.
A week ago, we paid our $100 deposit for the trip. And 5 days later, we received our ER bill.
At first, I was really discouraged. The bill was more than we thought it would be; the insurance didn't pay what we figured they would. I wrestled with the Lord, asking "why does it always have to be about money? When will we ever be past these tests?" The frustration then turned to "why do we never have more? Where is our blessing--after all that we've sown for your Kingdom?"
When I finished complaining and doubting, the Lord gently reminded me that He is more than enough and in fact, has always given us just what we need. We don't need more. We can't handle more--not yet. Right now, in this season, He's teaching us to live off daily Manna from Him. When I reread that passage in Exodus, I kept going back to how the Manna would rot the next day--as the Israelites tried to store it and save it for later. What God wanted to teach them was daily dependence. And He wants to teach me the same thing.
So, with faith and confidence in Him, I am believing that He will provide the money for our ER bill and that He will provide the money for Guatemala. Because MY GOD is a good and faithful God.