Monday, November 9, 2015

Sex and Intimacy (Part 1)

Today I’m going to blog about sex and intimacy in terms of men meeting women’s needs in this area. (Next week, Laura will blog about sex and intimacy in terms of women meeting men’s needs.) We firmly believe that a healthy sex life is important for your marriage. In fact, we feel so strongly about it that we would rank it in the top five of “most important things” for your marriage. If you and your spouse are not having sex regularly, you need to figure out how to make it a priority.

Marriage is giving. The “work” people speak of when talking about having an extraordinary marriage, in one word, is giving: giving of your time, giving of yourself, and quite simply meeting the other person’s needs in various areas of life. We can’t completely meet our wives’ needs in every area; husbands are not a replacement for God. However, He did place us in a marriage to be helpers to one another and to become one flesh. As men, it is our responsibility not only to be the head of our household, but also to meet our wives’ needs as women.

When men think of sex or intimacy, our minds go immediately to the actual act of having sex. This is normal, and it is the way God made us. However, this is not how God made our wives. When they think of sex or intimacy, they think of, well…intimacy. They desire you to hold them, to be close, to be romantic. This is a foreign concept to a lot of guys and not something we particularly want to do out of our own volition. There isn’t anything wrong with this either; it’s just the way we are wired.

The amazing thing is that God made each of us with different desires so that we could share in them and meet each other’s needs, thus growing our love together in a beautiful mix. God truly intends our sex life to be a mix of these two very different concepts (sex and intimacy), and when it is, we experience one another on a whole new level. I can tell you, also, that these women are on to something with intimacy. We may not desire it initially, but once we experience it, we want more.

Being romantic is another important part of this. (Spontaneously spell out 'I love you' in the snow. I did this once, and it scored major points.)