Monday, January 22, 2018

Who’s Leading this Dance?

After we’d been married a little over a year, Howell bought me dancing lessons for Christmas, which was an awesome gift because I love to dance. Within only a few minutes of our first private lesson, the instructor was already correcting my attempts to lead.

We laugh about it now, and sometimes when we’re dancing, Howell still has to remind me.
But as a newlywed, I not only wanted to lead when we danced; I often plowed over Howell’s leadership, asserting my opinion of what I thought we should do.

Our marriage fell into that habit within the first year or two. Howell would defer to me, and I would decide what we should do.

In the last several years, however, I’ve found so much value in letting him lead, and as I was reflecting on 2017, I kept coming back to how much I’d learned about submission and following my husband’s leadership during the really hard times.

We faced a lot of transitions in 2017, but every time we were confronted with a decision, when I felt anxious about what to do, or when a new or unexpected opportunity opened, I looked to Howell.

My go-to phrase became, “You tell me what you think we should do, and I’ll support whatever you decide.”

These words weren’t empty or manipulative; there wasn’t a hidden agenda. I found myself in a place where I needed to know what he wanted more than I needed to give my opinion, and his direction brought me peace because I trust him. I know he hears from God, and he’s going to obey.

So if Howell thinks we should do something new, I can be at peace with that, and if Howell thinks we should stay the course, I can be at peace with that.

I’m not suggesting I can’t or don’t have an opinion anymore or even that wives shouldn’t speak their mind. But while my hubs cares about me and wants to know what I think, he’s still the head of our house, and he shoulders the responsibilities for our family.

2017 challenged us in many ways, as we stepped out in faith and tried to do what we felt God was asking us to do. We grew closer than ever—a interesting outcome to ponder given that early last year someone prophesied over us we would soon reach a new honeymoon phase in our marriage.

The more I’ve learned to listen to my husband and acknowledge his decisions and support him, the more he feels confident and encouraged to lead—even when or if it feels like a crazy or scary change to make.

Friends, if your shoulders feel heavy with the weight of decisions to make—whether big or small, I encourage you to let your husbands make the call.

Your hubs will feel respected, and you’ll feel released from carrying the burden on your own.

I firmly believe God blesses us when we honor our husbands in this way.

How can you let your husband lead you today? 

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