One thing that the Lord has brought to my attention recently is that I do a good job at my work. Why am I good at my job? Well, I
pay a lot of attention to it. I do the things that are necessary each day to
keep up and then I go a step or two further to make it excellent. I “go the
extra mile.” This has served me extremely well in my career. I’m someone who
doesn’t have to be managed. This performance, and it is performance, is
something I almost take for granted. At work, it is who I am. The tweak in my
spirit about this is, “Why?” Why am I going the extra mile, and how can I apply
it to my marriage?
First of all, why would someone apply themselves and go
above and beyond? Because they like it is the only answer that makes any sense,
to me at least. I really like what I do. I get to invest in people and help
other people and deliver an important, often life-sustaining product. What a
job. He has blessed me greatly. How has He blessed me even more? He’s blessed
me with this incredible, beautiful, intelligent, understanding wife who also
happens to be my best friend in the world. That is why I work hard at marriage.
He reminded me of that and everything came into focus.
We, as husbands, often dive into our work or our hobbies or
whatever excites us rather than investing in our marriages or our families.
Think about baseball dad, who pushes his son or daughter hard to become the
next Nolan Ryan or Serena Williams. How is his marriage? If he isn’t careful,
he isn’t putting enough care into it.
Sometimes, I’m guilty of going into auto-pilot and getting
done what needs to be done for the people who need it done. It’s very easy to
put things in the “immediate, but not important” category ahead of the “not
immediate, but important” category. I have to be intentional about doing what
is most important, which is taking care of the two most important relationships
in my life: Christ and Laura.
Relationships are like plants. I like growing things, so I
think of things in those terms. You don’t have to nurture them every waking
moment. They can survive days without water or sunshine, but they can’t survive
weeks or months. It’s easy to forget to water them today and then put it off
tomorrow because they will survive. They won’t survive long like that though,
and pretty soon, they start to look brown at the edges and droop. If you pay
attention to them every day though, pruning here and watering there, they start
to thrive. They really become beautiful. When you really pay attention to your
spouse, your relationship blossoms. When you love them in their love language,
even small ways, it means the world to them. Little by little, you go deeper
and love more.
What do you put before the important things? Are you investing your time and energy into your marriage relationship?
~Howell
@G2WHubs
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