Who’s Leading this Dance?

After we’d been married a little over a year, Howell bought me dancing lessons for Christmas, which was an awesome gift because I love to dance. Within only a few minutes of our first private lesson, the instructor was already correcting my attempts to lead.

We laugh about it now, and sometimes when we’re dancing, Howell still has to remind me.

But as a newlywed, I not only wanted to lead when we danced; I often plowed over Howell’s leadership, asserting my opinion of what I thought we should do.

Our marriage fell into that habit within the first year or two. Howell would defer to me, and I would decide what we should do.

In the last several years, however, I’ve found so much value in letting him lead, and as I was reflecting on 2017, I kept coming back to how much I’d learned about submission and following my husband’s leadership during the really hard times.

We faced a lot of transitions in 2017, but every time we were confronted with a decision, when I felt anxious about what to do, or when a new or unexpected opportunity opened, I looked to Howell.

My go-to phrase became, “You tell me what you think we should do, and I’ll support whatever you decide.”

These words weren’t empty or manipulative; there wasn’t a hidden agenda. I found myself in a place where I needed to know what he wanted more than I needed to give my opinion, and his direction brought me peace because I trust him. I know he hears from God, and he’s going to obey.

So if Howell thinks we should do something new, I can be at peace with that, and if Howell thinks we should stay the course, I can be at peace with that.

I’m not suggesting I can’t or don’t have an opinion anymore or even that wives shouldn’t speak their mind. But while my hubs cares about me and wants to know what I think, he’s still the head of our house, and he shoulders the responsibilities for our family.

2017 challenged us in many ways, as we stepped out in faith and tried to do what we felt God was asking us to do. We grew closer than ever—a interesting outcome to ponder given that early last year someone prophesied over us we would soon reach a new honeymoon phase in our marriage.

The more I’ve learned to listen to my husband and acknowledge his decisions and support him, the more he feels confident and encouraged to lead—even when or if it feels like a crazy or scary change to make.

Friends, if your shoulders feel heavy with the weight of decisions to make—whether big or small, I encourage you to let your husbands make the call.

Your hubs will feel respected, and you’ll feel released from carrying the burden on your own.

I firmly believe God blesses us when we honor our husbands in this way.

How can you let your husband lead you today? 

A New Year!

Happy New Year, my friends!

I love the beginning of a new year. It’s like a re-set button, a chance to breathe in fresh grace and mercy, the opportunity to dream new dreams, set new goals.

Whatever changes you plan to make this year, know this:

God’s unchanging. Immutable. That’s one of my favorite characteristics of His because it means I can count on Him. He’s stable even when I’m uncertain.

His word is true, even when my emotions say otherwise.

And His heart toward me—toward you—is always good.

We rang in the new year with the Johnsons—a tradition we started four years ago, back when the two began dating. This year, we spent the night in OKC, watching the Thunder and the Mavs play (a little Johnson/Brandenburg rivalry—Go Mavs! :)).

Derek made a statement yesterday about starting and ending the year with the same people, and that comment has stayed with me.

Howell and I faced a lot of changes in 2017, but we are most thankful this year that our relationships with friends and family stayed the same.

What a blessing!

Seasons come and go, circumstances change, and even the work, the stress, the tasks are temporary. But relationships are forever.

Whatever goals you set this year, make your relationships a priority. When you sow and invest in people, you reap a greater blessing.

May your year be full of joy and peace and people who love you!

God has filled my heart with anticipation for this year: "But as for me, I will look expectantly for the Lord and with confidence in Him, I will keep watch; I will wait with confident expectation for the God of my salvation" (Micah 7:7). 

Do you need a RECHARGE?

Last week we had a much-needed fall break on campus, and I was able to take a couple of vacation days to spend Thursday through Sunday with my family. We rented a house, and for the first time since I’ve been married (now going on nine years), we took a family trip together: my parents, siblings and spouses, and nephews.

We haven’t quite settled on a name for our now annual trip to Wimberley (we’re thinking reunion is over-used), but the tentative name is recharge (props to my sister for that ;)).

Y’all, my heart is full, and I certainly feel recharged.

I finished three fiction books.

I laughed until I cried on several occasions (literally, tears streaming down my face!).

I swam in 65-degree water with my three-year-old nephew because, well, he wanted to.

I started a short story.

And I got to spend real quality time with family.

Nothing makes me happier than some good ole quality time.

Perhaps my favorite memory is watching my nephew air guitar and sing during our impromptu worship jam while my brother-in-law made breakfast. (If I haven’t said so—you should buy the Pursue Worship album! It’s incredible!)

There’s a song on the Pursue album titled My Shepherd, and the chorus begins, “I won’t want for anything.”

Isn’t that God’s promise to us?

At this point in the semester, the craziness is cranking up. Piles of grading. Work events. Church events. And October is only the beginning—then it’s Thanksgiving, then Christmas.

“I won’t want for anything.”

Time. Energy. Provision. Grace. Strength. Patience.

“The Lord is my Shepherd, and I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He quiets my soul.”

Reciting that verse brings so much peace to my heart.

Friends—do you need to recharge at this moment? Do you need the Lord to take you beside still waters?

Whatever you’re facing today, this week, this month, He is enough. You’re not lacking anything you need in Him. 

Investing in What's Important

One thing that the Lord has brought to my attention recently is that I do a good job at my work. Why am I good at my job? Well, I pay a lot of attention to it. I do the things that are necessary each day to keep up and then I go a step or two further to make it excellent. I “go the extra mile.” This has served me extremely well in my career. I’m someone who doesn’t have to be managed. This performance, and it is performance, is something I almost take for granted. At work, it is who I am. The tweak in my spirit about this is, “Why?” Why am I going the extra mile, and how can I apply it to my marriage?

First of all, why would someone apply themselves and go above and beyond? Because they like it is the only answer that makes any sense, to me at least. I really like what I do. I get to invest in people and help other people and deliver an important, often life-sustaining product. What a job. He has blessed me greatly. How has He blessed me even more? He’s blessed me with this incredible, beautiful, intelligent, understanding wife who also happens to be my best friend in the world. That is why I work hard at marriage. He reminded me of that and everything came into focus.

We, as husbands, often dive into our work or our hobbies or whatever excites us rather than investing in our marriages or our families. Think about baseball dad, who pushes his son or daughter hard to become the next Nolan Ryan or Serena Williams. How is his marriage? If he isn’t careful, he isn’t putting enough care into it.

Sometimes, I’m guilty of going into auto-pilot and getting done what needs to be done for the people who need it done. It’s very easy to put things in the “immediate, but not important” category ahead of the “not immediate, but important” category. I have to be intentional about doing what is most important, which is taking care of the two most important relationships in my life: Christ and Laura.

Relationships are like plants. I like growing things, so I think of things in those terms. You don’t have to nurture them every waking moment. They can survive days without water or sunshine, but they can’t survive weeks or months. It’s easy to forget to water them today and then put it off tomorrow because they will survive. They won’t survive long like that though, and pretty soon, they start to look brown at the edges and droop. If you pay attention to them every day though, pruning here and watering there, they start to thrive. They really become beautiful. When you really pay attention to your spouse, your relationship blossoms. When you love them in their love language, even small ways, it means the world to them. Little by little, you go deeper and love more.

What do you put before the important things? Are you investing your time and energy into your marriage relationship? 

~Howell 

@G2WHubs

Fighting the Wasps in your Marriage

Spring is in the air, and we’ve already had several days in the 90s. Around our house, that usually means we start to see signs of wasps. We’ve killed a few here and there, but the other day—of course, right at 6:00 as our guests were arriving for dinner—we noticed several flying around the front door.

Howell went out to spray what we expected was a nest, but we soon discovered that there were dozens and dozens of wasps crawling on our roof, likely making homes in our wood shingles, where they can’t be seen or reached.

This did not bring comfort to my soul.

We ate dinner and enjoyed a lovely evening with our friends, but the wasps stayed in the back of my mind, as I imagined hundreds of them crawling around on our roof.

Several days after that—maybe more than a week even, I felt like the Lord reminded me of the wasps to speak truth to my heart about something else entirely. (I don’t know about y’all, but he uses my daily experiences to do that a lot—remember the skunk?)

The Lord showed me that the stray wasp or two is like the surface problems in a marriage—maybe a small fight, an unsettled disagreement, a busy week with little quality time.

A single wasp doesn’t seem so bad, and you take care of it when you can. It's just a nuisance, right?

But if we’re not careful, before we know it, we’re hiding all kinds of wasps’ nests in our attic or nestled in some other forgotten, neglected place.

The same is true in our marriages. If we don’t handle well the little wasps, the small battles, we’ll end up with a whole army rising up against us and against our marriage.

For Howell and I, we know that the little wasps come when we don’t get to really connect, when life gets too busy, and we’ve said too many yeses.

We’ve both been reading Present over Perfect—and we’re thinking intentionally about our yeses these days. (If I haven’t sold you on this book yet, please re-read here and here.)

You know what I’ve realized takes up so much of my time?

It’s the little yeses that don’t seem so big at the time. It’s the two hours here after work, and three days a month doing this or that, and one hour here, and on and on.

But when I say yes to all the littles, I look up, and our calendar has something every night of the week.

We’ve decided recently that this is simply unacceptable for us. We want to do better—and it starts with saying no more often.

Shauna puts it so well when she says that when we say yes to something, we’re saying no to something else.

And usually, since I’ve been tuned into my yeses, what I’m saying no to is quality time with my husband, which I crave.

When I put it in that light, it makes me want to shout NO without reservation.

Friends, I encourage you to fight the little wasps in your marriage, even if they just seem like small nuisances. If you let them go, they’ll become much larger under the surface.

We say it all the time that marriage is the best work you’ll ever do. Don’t settle for ordinary when you can fight for extraordinary.

When You Need to Be Reminded: Our God is BIG!

First of all, I’d like to give a shout out to my hubs. Today is his birthday. Woot Woot! J (Last year, I wrote a post with my 30 favorite things about him.)

I’d add to that list how grateful I am that he’s always willing to go with me to my conferences. I’ve presented at a few academic conferences over the years, and he hasn’t missed a single one. St. Louis. Pittsburgh. San Antonio. Santa Fe. We’ve been to some fun places.

This last week, he went with me to Portland, where I presented at the ATTW conference.

We made a trip of it (more on that Monday—so stay tuned) and took a few vacation days before the conference to enjoy ourselves on the West Coast.

As the day of my conference approached, I started feeling very anxious. Actually, I’d felt pretty anxious for the weeks leading up to it, but by the time the actual week arrived, I felt like throwing up just thinking about it.

I was uncharacteristically nervous.

I don’t know if it was the enemy or my flesh—maybe both, but my head was full of lies. This conference is small and an elite group of presenters. They only accepted 26% of the proposals this year (and I’ve been on the 74% side three times).

I don’t say that to toot my own horn; I say that because the days leading up the conference I started thinking, “Man, I’m a fraud. I don’t belong on that panel. My research isn’t good enough, isn’t serious enough. I’m not prepared. I’m not enough.”

And on and on and on, to the point where I was physically sick the day before the conference.

That night I finally told Howell all the lies I felt inside. Do you know how much power comes from speaking your fears out loud?

He encouraged me and prayed for me that night, and immediately, the Lord showed me something really cool.

We’d been on our trip for four days at that point, and God started showing me how He’d taken care of us at every little moment along the way.

Our flights were on time.

Our rental car was perfect, which was essential for the 1500 miles we were going to put on it.

He’d kept our car safe and secure while we’d been out the first day (before we checked into the hotel). For some reason, I kept imagining that someone was going to break into our car and steal my laptop and notes while we sat at a restaurant, and I’d have nothing for the conference.

He’d led us to stay in Brookings, Oregon, instead of Crescent City. Brookings turned out to be MUCH nicer, but we didn’t know that til we were driving through Crescent City.

He’d led us to choose the perfect road to Crater Lake, and He’d led us on the perfect week. We later learned that two other roads into the park were closed because of snow, and if we’d have come the week before, we probably wouldn’t have made it because of all the snow they had. But they’d cleared our road, and although we considered taking the other route, we chose the road, by God’s grace, that was open.

He just kept giving me example after example—really recent examples—of how big and how powerful He is.

My conference presentation turned out to be just fine—and when I stopped stressing, I was able to enjoy the experience. By the end of the trip, we had even more cool stories like that!

But I loved that He reminded me, just when I need it:

He takes care of us.

He goes before us.

He’s always with us.

If you feel afraid, if you feel like you’re not enough, if you feel like you’re lacking, I pray that today you’ll be encouraged to see how big your God is.

He fights for you.

He stands with you.

He fills you with all the grace and power and confidence you need.

Child-like Wonder

On Saturday, we went to visit my nephews for the afternoon and evening. Canyon is a few months shy of turning three. I know I’m always saying, “This stage is my favorite,” but y’all, for real—THIS STAGE IS MY FAVORITE!

His vocabulary is exploding. Every time I’m around him, I’m constantly amazed at the number of new words he knows and sentences he can form.

And he’s so fun to play with. Definitely a first-born, he bosses Howell and me around, telling us where to sit and what toy to play with.

As I reach two steps into the kitchen to grab Case’s blanket, I’m immediately told, “Lala, sit down! Come here. Sit here!”

“Yes, Sir.” :)

(Shortly after I grabbed the blanket for Case... LOL!)
Sweet Case is a good sport with his brother's active imagination

My sister bought Canyon a kite last week. He’d seen one somewhere or on some show, and he’d been asking to fly a kite.

Lucky for him, his Uncle Howell is quite skilled at kite flying.

(My sister and I are not, and we decided that’s another thing that falls into the category of “things we didn't do as kids.” Other items in that category include fairs and circuses. LOL!)

So, we all go outside to watch Canyon experience his first kite—and y’all, I could’ve cried.

The joy on his face. Pure joy and wonder.

There’s no other way to describe it.

I thought, Oh to be a child. To be almost-three and experiencing everything like it’s new.

New words. New phrases. New games.

Everything, every day is something new to him.

And I felt like the Lord reminded me of Mark 10:15—and what it means to have child-like faith.

Jesus says to His disciples, “Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”

This face—this look of joy and wonder and eager desire to experience—this is what Jesus means; this is what receiving the kingdom like a child looks like.

This week, my friends, let’s boldly approach the throne. Let’s wonder at the beauty of our Savior like we’ve never seen Him before. Let’s marvel at the Holy Spirit and eagerly experience all that He has for us.

Let’s stifle nothing. Let’s let go, with reckless abandon, and pursue our Heavenly Dad and His Kingdom. 

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!

This holiday always reminds me of my grandmother. She was a unique woman, full of elegance and grace, and her holiday table would’ve made Emily Post proud.

Her kitchen portrayed an absolute rotation of chaos and cleanliness—dishes were dirtied and washed and dried and the cycle repeated. She loved to cook and bake

As a young child, I was given easier jobs, like stirring the pot, drying dishes, or licking the bowl of batter.

Bammie and me in PJs :) 

Later, my tasks included making the crescent rolls, and I became the best crescent-roll-maker you can imagine.

At some point, I graduated to dessert duty, where I got to help with making pumpkin and apple pies. One of my favorite Thanksgiving memories involves my cousin, Kelley—the year we made the apple pies completely on our own. The crusted strips on top did not look like Bammie’s, but we were quite proud of our accomplishment.

This year marks the 10^th Thanksgiving without my grandmother, and I always miss her most this time of year.

The holiday might be based on historical events and long-standing tradition, but to me, it’s always been about family—at least as much as it’s about food. ;) 

I’m thankful for my family, for my in-laws, for my husband. Life is precious, and relationships are valuable.

You might be feasting on turkey and green bean casserole, and you’ll be overloaded with potatoes and crescent rolls and carbs, and you’ll likely have a sugar high from all the cakes and pies and holiday goodies.

But take some time to give thanks, to share your gratitude for each other, and to relish each memory. 

Happy Birthday to Superwoman (a.k.a. My Sister!)

Sisters are God’s gift to us, built-in friendships that last a lifetime.

I was recently talking with a friend about one of her daughters, and I said something like, “Well, at least she has her sister. That’s what saved me through those weary junior high and high school days.”

I meant every word. My sister and I watched many friendships come and go, but we always had each other. I can’t describe the comfort it gives me to know she’ll always be there.

And since today is her birthday, I wanted to especially honor her for all that she’s done for me! (For another sentimental birthday post, I once wrote my 30 favorite memories of us.)

But first, some pictures... (because that's her favorite :))

Y’all, my sister is superwoman. She works all day long—leading, inspiring, managing, and encouraging her team. She does everything with excellence, and I respect her for what she does every day at work.

Then she comes home and starts round two. As a wife and a mom, she has to think about dinner, laundry, cleaning house, packing lunches, scheduling shots and check-ups, grocery shopping, play time, bath time, and bed time. And again, she does it all with grace.

She doesn’t always have it together, but sometimes that’s my favorite part. She’s not afraid to be vulnerable. She’s not afraid to ask for help.

She is loyal to others, even if she gets burned for it. She’s one of the most faithful people I know.

She makes us laugh. Most of my childhood entertainment came from sitting around—the table, the living room, the porch—and laughing because Michalea had us all going.

She encourages me just when I need it, and I know she does the same for many others.

She is truly ONE of a kind.

Today, I’m thankful for her birth and for her place in my life. I can’t imagine my world without her in it!

Happy birthday, Sister!

I love you!

The Olympics: Four Years Ago

In our house, the Olympics have been on pretty much every second that we aren’t asleep or at work. I love watching these events!

But this year the games seem particularly special as I think about where we were four years ago.

2012. My family and I sat glued to the TV for days, some on the couch or in rocking chairs, others sprawled on the floor.

We watched to pretend that only the Olympics were real—and words like cancer and chemo were a myth.

We waited in that awful span of days that felt like years between diagnosis and treatment.

We knew surgery was coming soon.

Then chemo.

Then radiation.

But we focused, instead, on whether Walsh Jennings and May would win the gold or what Michael Phelps’ final medal count would be.

We even watched the non-primetime stuff like equestrian events and water polo.

I still remember cracking up at one unpopular competition—not because the event was particularly funny or because someone goofed up.

But because we needed to laugh to delay the reality, to recede the sadness and the fear and the uncertainty.

We laughed and watched and ate and remained together—a family on the edge of an unlikely journey.

First Treatment

I can’t watch the Olympics this year without remembering where we were, and I’m grateful for how far we’ve come.

Today—in 2016—there’s no cancer, no chemo, no fear.

We thank God for life and healing every day. I really can't express the gratitude we feel for what God has done in our family.

Dear friends, should you encounter the unexpected, I pray you’ll be surrounded by God’s grace and peace.

p.s. If you’re interested, our family blogged about our experiences from diagnosis to the last treatment. You can follow the journey here. 

When you find your nest empty...

Today, I’m writing about an area of marriage that I’ve personally never dealt with, but someday will. This may sound like I’m relaying advice that you may think I’m not qualified to speak about. I’m not, but my sources are, and I trust them because I’ve seen their success.

Recently, I had two work friends dealing with the same marital problem, and it awakened me to make sure that I don’t see this same issue in my own marriage down the road. As they reach their middle years, their kids are graduating high school and leaving home or are close to it. They look at their spouse or their spouse looks at them, and they suddenly realize that they don’t know this person.

They say, “Where is the man/woman I married?” “Who have they become?” “Do I even love this person they’ve become?”

In one example, the husband works all the time. He’s out of town a lot and doesn’t have a lot of energy when he is home. In the other example, both spouses work. Both couples have kids that have had lots of activities over the years. They’ve been busy for 20+ years and haven’t had a chance to take a breath. Sound familiar? Now that their kids are starting to leave, and they aren’t so busy, they realize they don’t know each other.

First, if you are in this situation, there is certainly hope. Lots of it, actually. I recommend counseling for any long term or major marital problems. Find someone who is a Christian and is supportive of both of you. Also, bring the issue out in the open. Talk about it plainly, but make it clear that you want this to work and you love your spouse. Divorce shouldn’t be an option.

One of the couples that inspired me to write this just took a long vacation together. In many cases, just spending time enjoying each other will remind you of what this is all about.

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Second, if you aren’t there yet, work on your relationship now. Tyke and Connie Dipprey shared with Laura and I that they intentionally made the decision to not grow apart as their kids aged. As their friends struggled, they were closer than ever. Today, they are happy empty nesters that love each other very much. We are so thankful for their advice that caused us to think about this, years ago!

Other couples we know have taken vacations together over the years. Letting the kids stay at their grandparents while Mom and Dad are somewhere nice is fun for everyone. One friend even told me that he has a standing date night with his wife every other Friday. What I’m saying is, you have to be intentional about spending time with your spouse.

Sadly, one of the couples I mentioned at the beginning of this post didn’t make it. Honestly, with some effort, I believe they could have. Marriage is work, even if it’s the best work ever. The other couple is doing great. It is my goal to make sure that Laura and I are closer than ever when that day comes. I hope this is your goal too.

~Howell
@G2WHubs

Part 4: Giving Thanks for Canyon's Birthday

This month I’ve been blogging on Thursdays about gratitude. (If you’re catching up, read here and here and here). I’m loving how the intentional emphasis on gratitude changes my perspective every day.

Tomorrow is my nephew’s second birthday, and I feel it’s only fitting to end the month giving thanks for him! (I know, I know—I gave thanks for the people in my life last week, but he gets his own spot. ;))

Becoming Aunt Lala has been a joy and a blessing. Even when other kids come into the mix—mine or Michalea’s or Clinton’s—I don’t doubt Canyon will have his own special place, reserved only for him.

First picture - May 27, 2014

So, to the little guy who is second only to my husband—I wrote a poem in honor of his birthday:

Once upon a time, a sweet baby was born.

With joy, his whole family welcomed him into this world.

For his life, we praised the Lord.

And his place in Aunt Lala’s heart soared.

To help his mommy was Lala's great pleasure,

And Wednesdays became Dancie and Lala’s treasure.

Week by week, they held their breath—

From sleeping

And rolling

And crawling

To walking

And talking—

They marveled at his progress.

Gifted with music, he can sing any song.

Outside is his favorite; he could stay all day long.

A heart full of laughter and hugs to share.

A blessing to love, they can’t help to stare.

Although he is two and every day growing,

His Aunt Lala will never stop sowing.

For all his days, he will have his own space;

In Aunt Lala’s heart, he can’t be replaced.

Happy Birthday, Canyon, sweet boy of power.

You will become a mighty man of valor.

Know that your family loves you deeply.

We will always be here for you faithfully.

Love, Aunt Lala

I love you, Canyon! And I’m forever thankful for your birth! 

Part 3: Giving Thanks for the People in My Life

This month, I am focusing on gratitude because I’m learning the degree of peace in my heart is directly proportional to my amount of thanksgiving.

And I want God’s peace to rule in my heart.

And I want to be thankful.

I recently attended two funerals within three days. Both men were incredible leaders and mentors, and as I listened to the testimonies at their funerals, I sat amazed at the legacies they left.

They influenced people because they poured themselves into the lives of others.

Coach Warwick was my golf coach in high school, and he had an incredible gift of prophecy—the kind that called forth the truth in someone; he saw what could be, not what was.

A young man shared a story at the funeral that Coach had prophesied over him the first day he walked into the classroom.

I smiled through my tears. He did the same thing for this fourteen year old—before he was my coach, before he even knew my name. He pierced my heart and pulled out the true me that was hidden in there.

What an amazing gift and influence!

I meet close to a hundred new students as they enter my classroom each semester, and I want to have that kind of influence and encouragement for them. I want to hear God, to see each heart as He sees it, not as it appears on the outside.

Both of these men left an inspiring legacy, but they both died unexpectedly (and too soon in my opinion!). They left wives and children and young grandchildren.

I kept thinking of my own parents who are close to the same age, and not only did I find myself begging God not to take them away any time soon, but also I reminded myself to give thanks.

We are not promised tomorrow. And we are not promised that our loves ones—our spouses, our children, our parents and siblings and grandparents—will be here tomorrow either.

I have been blessed with an amazing husband, with an extraordinary family, including awesome parents and siblings, and with great friendship.

The work, the stress, the ‘to do’ lists, even the bills—that’ll all fade in and out.

But relationships are forever.

They’re worth sowing into.

And they are the greatest source of my gratitude because the best gifts God ever gave me are the people He placed in my life.

Let’s give thanks for our relationships today! (Click to Tweet) 

A "Love-Wink" from God

I'm always amazed when God gives me a little love-wink, his way of saying—I see you, and I love you. When I look for it, I see his little gifts all the time. And last week, He out-did himself.

I attended the LCU annual fundraiser, which hosted Jen Hatmaker.  If you haven’t heard of her, find her hilarious and inspiring blogs here, read my all-time favorite posts here and here and here, and find her latest book (which is, you guessed it, also hilarious) here.

I’m grateful that my parents—who know how much I love Jen’s writing—got me tickets to not only hear her but also meet her! My sister and I were on cloud nine—and five days before the event, we began texting our hypothetical questions and conversations with Jen (e.g. “So, what’s it like being awesome?” “When should we plan our next get-together?).

Of course, the VIP meeting was really like 2.5 seconds as we took a quick picture together, and I was among hundreds of other women as eager to be Jen’s buddy as I am.

I am terrible at meeting famous people—not that I’ve had a lot of experience either. I brought her latest book, determined to ask her to sign it, but when I was next in line, I lost all sense of words and talking and stuff.

She actually said ‘Hi!’ to me first and asked for my name—all before I had said a word. EEK! But then, after I had managed to state my name, she hugged me, and I thought, Awesome—she’s not too famous for my fumbling, introverted self. Woot!

I became, naturally, obsessed with getting a do-over to meet her again and ask her to sign my book. Those were my 2.5 seconds, and I fumbled the ball!

I kept trying to get back into “the room” even though we’d been ushered out after our picture. I begged my sister, who was literally ONE TABLE away and who always has connections, to do something.

But the evening began, and Jen was there, on the stage, and then ushered off, and my moment was gone.

I decided to get over it. It wasn’t that big of a deal. I even considered writing her a letter—creatively capturing the evening and my 2.5-second moment and my utter regret; hoping, perhaps that she would sign my book and return it.

And then, when the evening was over—and when my door of getting a signed For the Love copy really was closed—my sister walked up with a signed book and hands it to me.

I could have melted into the ground.

Bless.

I love my sister. I love her precious heart to give me her signed copy that was part of her table decorations. She really is awesome—more awesome than meeting famous people.

I also love that my Heavenly Dad knew my heart, knew my desire, and gave me a little love-wink that night.

It’s like his way of saying, “Hey, calm down. I had this figured out.”

“Hey, calm down. I’m much more impressive. Watch me do.”

“Hey, I give the best gifts.”

“Hey, I love you.”

Share your favorite 'love-wink' from God below!

Click to Tweet: When God gives a love-wink, we're reminded He cares about the small stuff. 

Serving Together

Serving others has really made a big difference in our marriage. There is something about doing good together that brings us closer. It’s one of the things that brought us together when we were first dating and has helped sustain us over the years.

I can’t think of anything better for a couple of people who have fallen in love than having quality time. The more time Laura and I spend with each other, the better we are at loving each other. We have done missions and volunteer work, and we often serve at our local church in various capacities. We do just about all of these together, and they continually build up the same priorities of service within us. Our ideas of whom and how to serve have grown to give us a united sense of purpose that helps drive our marriage.

Laura and I had not been dating long when we took a mission trip to Mexico over Spring Break that really brought us closer and helped build a firm foundation for our marriage to come.

First Mission Trip: On the bus to Mexico

We went on a mission trip to Guatemala before we even celebrated our first-year anniversary, and that trip bonded our marriage in ways that only third-world mission trips can do (side note: our bathroom didn’t have a door, and let’s just say we were both pretty sick for most of the trip. #forbetterorworse).

The Construction Crew

We found that serving others opened our eyes and our perspective and allowed us to serve each other better, too. Since those early years of marriage, we have made it a priority to hear from God about where and whom He would have us serve.

Serving brings you closer to God, and thus, you are better for each other. By serving others and the Lord, you bring yourself and those with you in line with God’s will. In Matthew 25, Jesus says “Truly, I say to you, as you do unto one of the least of these, my brothers, you did it to me.” Jesus is our example, the model for us. His entire purpose was about people and serving others.

In my life, serving others has proven again and again to bring me closer to Him and His will for my life. The same goes for our family. Our marriage is built on serving the Kingdom of Heaven; it’s our mission and purpose in life.

If you and your spouse are both believers, we encourage you to ask God how you can serve others in His kingdom. Volunteer together and see how much it blesses you.

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Howell

@G2WHubs