Lessons Learned in 10 Years

Ten years goes by in the blink of an eye, and yet it feels as if we’ve been married forever. I can’t imagine life without Laura, and I love the life we’ve built together. Ten years ago, this month she made me the happiest man in the world by saying “I do.” I wanted to share four things that I’ve learned in ten years that you might find helpful.

1. Set realistic expectations. When we got married, the only marriage I knew up close was my parents. Naturally, my vision of marriage was theirs. While they have an incredible marriage that stands as a testament to their love and maturity, I didn’t see all of it. I never saw them fight, so I didn’t think they did. Now, years later, I realize that they do, and I just didn’t see it. I didn’t know how often it was okay to argue and what it was okay to argue about. You’re probably thinking, “That’s silly Howell, do what feels right,” but I was genuinely worried when we even had the most minor spat. Now, years into this and having talked to many couples, I know that my expectations were ridiculous. Don’t set crazy expectations. I wouldn’t even set expectations for your spouse and how they will act until you know them in the intimate setting of marriage. We all have to find what fits us and what we are willing to give to put this life together. High expectations only make that harder. 
2. Listen first, talk later. My mouth has done far more damage in our marriage than I would’ve believed possible. I’m a pretty quiet guy, but I’ve learned that I’m much quicker to draw conclusions than I thought. I’m also not a mind reader, and neither are you. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to listen first about a dozen times. 
3. Don’t hold it in. Be open. Laura and I have found so much freedom in sharing everything. When there are no secrets, life is much simpler. So, if you are upset and keeping that from your spouse to protect them, you are only making things worse. I know this from experience.
4. Never walk away in anger. It seems like everyone says this, but it is so true. Laura often jokes about how I want to deal with things right now and not later. That comes from experience. Walking away to “cool down” or “catch your breath” usually just gives you time to think about why you are right and your spouse more time to be hurt. Storming off never helped a marriage.

Hopefully this has been helpful. We have been more blessed than I could’ve ever hoped for, and I pray the same for you. May you have many happy years together!

~Howell

@G2WHubs

A Decade of Love, Laughter, and Lots of Travel

Howell and I celebrated ten years of marriage last week. Ten years since we said "I do," and without a doubt, I'd say it all over again.

We've experienced joy and loss in various stages of our journey, and I am so very grateful for the man God gave me all those years ago. He is my greatest gift. My go-to for advice and a listening ear, the one who lets me unload at the end of a long day. My bed hog, who sleeps as close to me as possible despite our decade of graduations from small beds to a king. My laundry partner and the best dishwasher-unloader on the planet (thanks, babe!). My encourager, who never stops telling me I can do this--this job, this book, whatever 'this' looks like today. My prayer warrior, who covers me in words of faith every night, regardless of how I feel. My partner for golfing or hunting or hiking. And my best friend.

Traveling has become one of our favorite things to do together. And while this season of life has been child-less for us, we've taken advantage of the time to go and do and see all that we can. 

17 states. 6 countries. 2 cruises. And countless hours on the road. 

To celebrate a decade of trips, I thought I'd pick ten pictures from my absolute favorites: 

Honeymoon Cruise to Jamaica, Grand Cayman, Cancun (2008)

In Bath during our London trip (2011)

Five-Year Anniversary cruise (2013)

Santa Fe (2014)

San Diego (the first time!) (2015)

Hot Air Balloon Festival (and ride!!) in Albuquerque (2015)

Vista Verde Ranch, Colorado (2016)

New York City (2016)

Browns Game in Cleveland (2016)

Redwood National Park, California (2017)

This year, to celebrate our tenth, we went to Charleston for a week in June. Amazing sunsets, historical buildings, and FOOD.

Who knows where the road will lead us during our next decade, but I know who will be by my side. <3 p="">

One Year!

Hal and I celebrated our one-year anniversary last weekend. This week has been crazy (my last week of summer school), but I wanted to post pictures from our trip. We went to Dallas Friday night and stayed through Sunday. During the day on Saturday, we went to the Dallas Arboretum. It was amazing! Kind of humid and sticky, but the plants and flowers were so beautiful. Hal really gets into landscaping stuff, so we had a great time trying to go around a guess the names of trees and plants. :) Plus, we got some ideas for our own house...
I thought this looked so peaceful...

For dinner on Saturday, we went to PF Chang's. Yeah for lettuce wraps!! :) And afterwards, we went to see The Proposal.

Sunday was our official anniversary day. I can't believe it's been a year already. It seems like it went so fast. We sat down Sunday night and made a list of our favorite memories from the year. I was overwhelmed by the Lord's goodness as we shared stories and reminded each other of fun dates and even just nights that weren't planned, but ended up being so special for us. I am so blessed to be married to him, and I know I tell God that all the time, but I think remembering MY blessing is so essential. This year hasn't always been easy; we've faced trials in our marriage, but we have grown a lot too. And I think with every trial we face, we became stronger because we determined to stick through anything together, not separated! I know we will always be tested, and certainly it's Satan's chief desire to drive a wedge between us, but days like Sunday, days when we remember how much fun we have, how much we love each other and how special our marriage is, are encouraging to me and give me confidence that God will always sustain us.

It has been a good year. God has been more than faithful to us. He has taught us to trust Him with our hearts, with our lives, and with everything we own. He continues to teach us how to love and serve each other, and what becoming "one" looks like. I look forward to many more years with my wonderful, wonderful blessing!