Marriage Is Like a...

I have a porcelain tea bag holder shaped as a teapot with a flower inside it that sits next to my kitchen sink to hold my rings when I’m cooking. A friend bought it for me in England because she knew how fondly I remember my semester abroad in London. Although the little teapot shattered once, I glued each piece back together with great care, and I like the imperfection of it so much that it still sits in its same place.

Last week, I was doing dishes and thinking about what to write for this blog post, and I felt like the Lord told me that my porcelain teapot could be a metaphor for marriages.

Everyone’s marriage faces a chip or two over the years. Some end up with entire cracks and separation. Some get glued back together with care, restored completely.

I fully believe every marriage faces a moment, at least one, when both people are confronted with the decision—stay and fight for their marriage or give up. It may be a dramatic standoff, or it may be after years of passivity where the relationship has lost priority, and both people are just biding their time.

For Howell and me, our first year of marriage wasn’t the toughest. It was years two and three. I remember after one particular fight, I felt deceived and defeated. We seemed to be in the same pattern, and I couldn’t do it anymore. I was truly on the brink of giving up. We were young. We didn’t have any kids. Why stay?

The next morning, I saw a man whose red and puffy eyes matched my own, and I’ve never questioned our marriage since then—no matter what we have faced.

God was gracious to us in that season. We learned a lot about ourselves and each other and most of all about who God is and what He can do in our hearts.

He became the super glue that mended those broken places until they were stronger than ever before.

What about you, friends? Can you remember a time in your marriage that felt like a line in the sand? What compelled you to stay and fight?

Maybe you’re feeling cracked and broken even now, and super glue doesn’t feel possible. I can promise you, it’s worth the process to let God mend your marriage. It’s a supernatural feat only He can accomplish in us—if we’re willing.

Ask for help. Seek wise counsel. See a counselor. Whatever you need to do—but don’t stop fighting or your marriage.

Rain That Refreshes, Renews

Sheets of rain are pouring down as I work on this blog post, and I’m thinking about the expression, “When it rains, it pours.” 

I’ve felt that way a little these last few weeks as I’ve recently had a lot of busyness, uncertainty, and ever-growing ‘to do’ lists. 

  

But rain can also be refreshing: the ground soaks in the moisture while thirsty crops catch drops of water on glistening, bright green leaves.   

 For me, the rhythm outside my window calms me, and I’m renewed, revived. 

Peace. 

Be still. 

Peace.

I’m in your midst. 

I hear His words in the beat of the drops on my windowsill. 

And after the rain stops, after the stormy clouds and unpredictable precipitation recede, He washes me clean again; he restores my soul. 

Sometimes I wonder why I ever stress at all. When it’s all said and done, He’s always taken care of me. He’s never let me fall. 

I breathe in fresh, clean air. Don’t you love the smell of rain? 

I breathe in more of His Spirit, His grace, His strength. 

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

His grace is sufficient for me.

Friends, if you’ve been near me these last four weeks, I’ve been a hot mess. But today, it’s as if the Lord hit the reset button with all this rain, and I get to resurface with a renewed purpose and joy. 

If you need to be renewed, I pray the Lord would rain sweet drops of grace and mercy over your soul today.

"Writing WITH God:" A Refreshing Weekend in the Springs

For the first Saturday in April, I was blessed to attend the ACFW “Write in the Springs” event with the local Colorado Springs chapter. (Although I’m here in Texas, my closest chapters are Colorado Springs or Dallas—both six hours away!)

I didn’t know anyone attending the event—and as an introvert, meeting new people feels scary sometimes. But God truly went before me to open doors.  I sat between two multi-published authors, and I was overwhelmed with their kindness and advice.

Allen Arnold’s message for the day could not have been more timely. (If you’re going to ACFW in Nashville, I encourage you to go to his “Two Realms” session.)

I won’t divulge his message too much, but suffice to say—I approached my writing from the wrong realm. He talked about writing with God, not for Him or about Him. What a powerful concept!

Writing with Him means positioning my heart to be open before Him, to be led by Him, to hear Him.

And to do that, we have to walk in who we are in Christ, so we can approach Him and know Him as the relational Father, not as a distant or uncaring or angry or disappointed Father.

At one point, Allen asked us to spend time with the Lord individually and ask to receive from Him how He feels about our writing.

I don’t know why I had never done that before—and I don’t know why I expected something negative (like the voice of an angry critic: do more of this, don’t do that, etc.), but what I heard from Him I will treasure forever.

I finally have a vision statement for my writing, and I can see my work as He sees it, which means I can see the purpose He has for it. I feel so encouraged to keep pursuing this journey.

But the BEST part of my weekend came later that day—when Howell and I got to spend the evening with my favorite author and her husband. She is an award-winning, multi-published author, but she treated me as a friend and offered incredible advice and direction.

She even asked to read my first chapter. (*SQUEAL!*) I was scared to send it to her (But she’s so awesome, and I’m so…) But I’m glad I did because her suggestions and comments were positive and encouraging and incredibly helpful.

It’s been almost two weeks, and I’m still on cloud nine from that trip. I made new friends, I received great advice from several people, and the Lord refreshed my soul! What a blessing!  

There’s a Hillsong line that says, “To your glory, for your glory.”

That’s what I continue to speak over my work and over my writing journey.

This semester is soon ending, and I feel more revived than ever to keep writing and editing and pursuing options to get my work out there!

Writing friends: How are you feeling these days? Do you need the Lord to refresh your soul? Ask Him how He feels about your writing. I promise you’ll feel restored. >>> Click to Tweet

The Refreshing Process

Proverbs 3 & 4--Healing through trust, humility, and turning from evil

Proverbs 3:5-8: "5Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. 6In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. 7Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn from evil. 8It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones."

Proverbs 4:23-27: "23Keep your heart with all diligence for from it flow the springs of life. 24Put away from you cooked speech and put devious talk from you. 25Let your eyes look directly forward and your gaze be straight before you. 26Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. 27Do not turn to the left or to the right; turn your foot away from evil."

The Lord has been speaking to me about guarding my heart--keeping my heart secure and steadfast. For days, I have not really known what to do with that or really what he meant by His instruction. I do guard my heart!--I said defensively to Him. What am I missing here? And then this morning, He took me to Proverbs...

In chapter 3, verses we are well familiar with, I am struck by the instruction for humility in these words:
"Trust in the Lord...not on your own understanding"
"Acknowledge Him"
"Do not be wise in your own eyes."
"Fear the Lord"
The command for humility is so obvious! More importantly, I never realized that this command has a sowing and reaping effect: If you do steps (verses) 5-7, you will reap verse 8: the promise of healing and refreshment! Just what my heart needs!

In chapter 4, the same promise is true ("healing in your flesh"--verse 22)--but the instruction is different. Where before, we were commanded to live in humility, here we are commanded to live in purity and righteousness. By guarding our hearts, we are keeping out:
"Crooked speech"
"Devious talk"
Essentially, keeping our eyes and feet from anything that leads to evil paths. We are instructed to have our gaze intently on whatever our goal is or should be, so that we walk straight.

It is no mistake then, that in 4:25-27 he commands us to walk straight and in 3:6, he promises that when we

1. Trust in Him, not our own understanding, and
2. Acknowledge Him in all our ways, then

He will make our paths straight!

When we do one, the other follows. He is the AGENT (the do-er) of making our paths straight, not ourselves. But to see that requires humility that says "God, I can't do this, but you can. I need your help and your strength cause I don't have it all figured out." And for the wanna-be know-it-alls (like me, sometimes), it's humility that says, "Oh yeah-- you saved me! I serve you, not myself!" The second thing it requires is the discipline to live a righteous life, described in chapter 4. But if you're trusting in God and keeping Him close to your heart, this should follow as a natural response.

And further, the harvest we reap when we sow a life of trusting in the Lord and not ourselves, is a life of healing and refreshment. When we come into His presence and come aligned with His authority, acknowledging Him to be in control, we have entered into the holy fear of the Lord. And we experience the fullness of His restoring process that touches, heals, and refreshes us to do His work.