When it doesn't feel okay...

I have had this quote running through my head for weeks: “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” 

If it’s not okay, IT’S NOT THE END.

I am a sucker for happy endings. I like it when the guy and girl get together. When the family is reunited. When the team wins. When the hero succeeds and the enemy is defeated.

I love it all.

Sometimes the sad ending is the realistic one—but I’ve been thinking lately, even if it’s sad, it’s not over; it’s not the end. There’s tomorrow, there’s next year, there’s another season, another chance. Even in the face of death, there’s life for those who remain.

Isn’t that the truth of God’s redemptive story for us?

We have hope—always—because it’s not the end. And when it is the end, it’s going to be good, victorious, glorious.

That’s why His hope never disappoints (Rom 5:8), why it is an anchor for our soul (Heb. 6:19)—both sure and steadfast.

The other day, I feel like the Lord reminded me that anyone who is destined for greatness must have a good story. And any good story requires an obstacle, a conflict, an unfulfilled dream.

Maybe you need to hear that today. You’re destined for greatness in God’s kingdom—and He’s writing a good story in your life.

How can we be sure?

Because God’s word is true, and He’s promised His plans for us are good—to give us a hope and a future (Jer. 29:11).

What’s your obstacle right now? Whatever it is, it’s not permanent. 

Take heart, my friend, if you’re struggling today. It’s only for a season, a chapter, a section, a volume—but it’s not forever, and it’s not the end.

He's in the Waiting

“Take courage, my heart. Stay steadfast, my soul. He’s in the waiting.”

What a powerful chorus. This song—"Take Courage" by Kristene Di Marco—stays on repeat in my house, in my car.

We’re in a season of waiting. Still.

Seven years and counting. That's how long we’ve been eagerly seeking Him for children, for the greatest desire of our heart. In almost ten years of marriage, 70% of that time has passed with hope deferred. 80 months of delayed answers, of no, not this time, not yet.

The Lord’s word to me this year is Anticipation.

Wait. Hope. Expect. Anticipate.

I’m reminded of the verse He gave me a long time ago: “Those who wait/hope/trust/expect in the Lord will not be disappointed.”

If ever I feel disappointed, my trust has moved to something else, a false hope, a wrong expectation.

“But those who wait on the Lord…”

“He is actively working on behalf of those who wait on Him.”

I feel like I’m in a holding pattern, suspended but on the brink of a new season. I can feel it. I anticipate it.

Holding my breath, as I wait…

For doors to open,

For dreams to happen,

For promises to be answered.

In the last seven years, what I’ve found is captured so well in this song. When I want to forget, when I doubt, when it feels too long, too impossible: He’s in the waiting.

The song says, “Take Courage,” the very words Jesus spoke to His disciples in Matthew 14 when the storm came, and they feared for their lives.

A little while earlier, Jesus had sent them ahead of himself. And now, maybe they feel abandoned. John 6 says, “It was near dark, and Jesus had not yet come.”

Ever feel that way?

But then, there He is. Walking on the water.

Take courage, He says.

Because He knew. He always knows the outcome.

In this moment, the disciples have the opportunity to witness a miracle, a glimpse of His power.

In this moment, Peter has the chance to go deeper in His faith.

All the events culminate to the here, the now.

Yes, there’s a storm. Yes, Jesus had not yet come, and now they feel abandoned.

But it’s like He says, Take courage. Here I am. And I’m giving you something rare and powerful, an experience, an encounter you won’t forget.

Though we face unknowns, though our hearts are full of anticipation, I sense it even now:

He’s here. He knows. He’s got a spectacular story for us. 

For you.

I don't know what your heart longs for, my friend. I don't know how long you've been waiting. But I do know this, our God is a good Father, our Jesus is never delayed, and our Holy Spirit is present, full of power and comfort and grace. 

“Take courage, my heart. Stay steadfast, my soul. He’s in the waiting.”

When the Word Tests You

"Until the word of the Lord came to pass, the word tested [Joseph]." Psalm 105:19

I've been meditating on this verse all week. It's a favorite of mine, and in the past I've always used it to encourage us to have faith in the gap.

You know, the gap of confrontation, that hole between when God gives you a word or a dream or a promise and when He accomplishes it.

In that place, you learn to stand on God's word, to declare His truth and His promises over your circumstances, over your feelings, over your enemy.

I know that gap because I've been in it for five years.

We've heard God that we'll be parents, and we know He's going to give us children.

So we continue to wait and trust His plan., and when I feel discouraged, Psalm 105:19 is my go-to verse.

But this week, I've meditated on it for a different gap. Maybe I'll call it the writer's gap.

I know He's put this dream in my heart. In fact, I believe He's called me to write, which is why I named this blog "Obeying the Call."

I'd spent many years hiding from my calling, and I started this blog--six years ago--as an act of obedience.

Do you know what happens when we step out in faith and do something?

Well, sometimes we get tested.

I have so much that is calling for my attention now that it's a test to even write.

I'm not saying that I'm in disobedience if I don't write. I'm not out of God's will if I'm
not popping out book chapters or blog posts.

That's not God's heart.

The truth is, I feel free when I write. It relaxes my mind and brings joy to my heart and refreshes my soul.

Even if I'm not writing to share the words, the act itself blesses me and draws me closer to God.

It seems natural, then, that I might face opposition before getting to that place of serenity, of chosen time, of consecrated words, pushing pen across paper or clicking keys to a screen.

Wiring in this season might look differently than it did this summer, when I could devote entire days to working on and editing my book.

That's okay. In fact, I have to be okay with that.

But I believe writing--finding time to write, regardless if it's to be shared or to be cherished--is a battle I'll have to fight and overcome.

It's a conscious decision I'll have to make, and it's not about the words, where they'll go or what they'll say. It's about me and my heart and my joy.

What about you, friend?

Do you have a dream God has put in your heart? Do you find yourself in the gap of confrontation?

I pray you'll dwell on His word, His truth for your life.

Keep dreaming. Keep fighting for your dreams. He is faithful.

When Selling a Bed Becomes a Lesson in Patience

This weekend, I experienced my first attempt at selling something through an online Facebook garage sale page. I posted an extra full-sized wrought iron bed we needed to get rid of, and within ten minutes, I had more than one offer.

The first offers that came in were for slightly less than my asking price. Not by much—but a little less. I debated for two hours—literally—whether to settle or wait.

My husband, who is always the voice of reason, calmly shrugged and said, “Babe, it’s been like an hour. Just wait and see what you have tomorrow.”

Good advice, right?

Yeah… But I’m impatient, and sometimes everything feels urgent—even when it’s not an urgent thing at all.

I waited a little longer (and by little, I mean maybe 30 more minutes). Then I accepted the first person who offered, albeit at a reduced priced.

Of course, not 15 minutes after I settled, I had three more offers—for full price. By the time I went to bed, I was getting messages from two different people, begging for the bed. (I’m not even joking!) By the next morning (not even 24 hours later), I had 14 offers on it.

But I felt like I had to honor my original ‘Yes,’ and on Tuesday, an excited single-mom came and picked up the bed and mattresses.

I knew I did the right thing, but I also felt a little miffed. If only I had waited…

I don’t write this to self-deprecate or condemn myself, but the truth is, I wonder sometimes whether I rob myself of God’s fullest blessings because I get impatient.

I’m reminded of the old sermon story of the boy who throws a fit in Walmart, begging for the $150 bike. His parents hold their ground and seem like the worst parents ever—except that they already bought him a $300 bike for his birthday next week.

They know what he doesn’t know.

God always knows, too.

If I had a spiritual resume of my greatest traits and qualities, patience would not be on it. Intercessor, maybe. Worshiper, Giver—sure.

But patient, submitted, willing to release control—nope. None of those.

I know God’s not mad at me—nor does he punish me or withhold blessing from me. He’s a good Father, and He probably spends a lot of time whispering, “Hey, dear, I have a better blessing for you if you’ll wait it out.”

I’m not trying to over-spiritualize here either. It’s just as possible that God’s best plan was for the single-mom to get the bed at the reduced rate. Maybe my impatience wasn’t about me; maybe it was always about her blessing.

But either way, I’m reminded this week that I need to surrender control, be patient, let go of those things that really aren’t urgent (which, by the way, is pretty much everything!), and submit my heart to my Father’s heart.

If I can just slow down, just for a second, I might hear Him whisper.

Friends, do any of you struggle with that impatient spirit—where everything feels urgent? Do you struggle to wait on God’s timing?

I’d love to hear any advice you have to offer! 

Click to Share: When Selling a Bed Becomes a Lesson in Patience.  

An Update on the Waiting Game - Part Two

Summer has arrived, and although I’m teaching ENGL 1301 for the first term, I have lofty goals for my writing projects. I thought I’d offer a quick update since I’ve been ‘mum’ on the subject for a while now.

I’m waiting to hear from the agent I sent my manuscript to in February. She and I have had a few email exchanges since then, but I think of her often and pray for God to give me favor just about every day!

I spent the first couple months of Part Two of the Waiting Game doing just that—waiting. But when I attended the ACFW local event in April in Colorado Springs, I felt a renewed excitement to pursue my writing journey.

I already told you I received incredible feedback that weekend from a dear mentor who is a multi-published, award-winning author. Within a few weeks of that experience, I joined a critique group, which has been rewarding as well. It’s so helpful to have other people look at your chapters and point out sentences that could be tighter, perspectives that could be stronger, or characterizations that could be better.

Obviously, it’s great to have a reader gush over a scene or tell you how much she appreciates a certain line or moment in the chapter—but it’s genuinely as great to have a reader point out flaws or problems. I’ve found the feedback invaluable in making my manuscript as strong as it can be.

One of the women I met at that local event in April encouraged me to enter some contests this summer and also consider a potential publisher as a target for my manuscript. I consider her a God-send that weekend (and beyond!) because she opened my eyes to some new possibilities—and gave me the confidence to try.

So, at the end of May and last week, I entered some contests for my manuscript, and I have a couple more that I’d like to enter before the end of this month. My hope is that my work will receive the favor and attention of the judges—potential editors at major publishing houses and agents who represent Christian authors.

In the meantime, I am still subbing my chapters out to the group—and when I finish having the manuscript critiqued, I’d like to send it off to the potential publisher.

And if I’m ambitious enough and can find the time between teaching and editing, I’d like to keep writing this summer. I started my second book last November. At this point, I only have about five or six chapters, and almost every day I’m thinking of the characters in my head, imaging scenes and plotting dialogue exchanges. Now it’s time to actually start putting more of that to paper.

For the most part, I'm still playing the waiting game, but it’s nice to feel like I’m actively pursuing this journey as well. Ultimately, I'm encouraged by the response my story has had so far, and I continue to believe that God put it on my heart, and He’ll make a way for it to be read by others, however He wants to work that out.

This quote still resonates so deeply in my soul

I’ll just keep writing… and editing… and putting myself out there. :) 

A Lesson from Two Tenacious Women

This week I have been drawn to two different places in the New Testament—one, a parable, and the other, a testimony of Jesus healing a woman.

The story of the woman with the issue of blood has always intrigued me—even as a child. When I was six, I was diagnosed with von Willebrand’s disease, and I spent much of first and second grade in the nurse's office for one or two hours with uncontrollable nosebleeds. It sure felt like an ‘issue of blood’!

The story resonates with me still—as a woman diagnosed with various infertility diseases and negative reports.

I know how it feels to “spend all my money on a physician” and “not be healed by anyone” (Luke 8:43).

And so I’m inspired by this woman who knows what she has to do—and she reaches out to touch Jesus.

She acts in accordance with her faith to receive her healing.

She doesn’t know if it will work, but she does it anyway: “If only I may touch the hem of his garment” (Matthew 9:21).

Source: YouVersion Bible App

Not only is she healed, but Jesus says her faith has made her well.

It seems like a crazy leap from here to the parable of the persistent widow in Luke 18—but both women are tenacious.

Persistent. Relentless. Determined.

When I was 16, a woman prophesied over me that I have a spirit of tenacity. I had to look up the word at the time, but today I hold onto that when my soul needs encouraging.

The persistent widow is tenacious. She, too, acts in accordance with what she believes.

As I was re-reading the parable this week, I was struck by Jesus’ last statement: “I tell you [God] will give justice to them speedily, but when the Son of Man returns will he find faith?” (v. 8).

What a question to end with!

When I don't see the outcome, will my faith remain? Will my belief persist? 

Bill Johnson once gave an illustration about faith that will forever stay with me. He said that when we go to a pizza place and ask for a large pepperoni, we get our receipt—that ticket with our number that proves we’ll get the pizza.

While we wait, we don’t actually have the pizza.

But we have the confidence that it’s been purchased, and we have the ticket, the words—that’s our faith, our assurance that the pizza will come.

Dear friends, what are you believing God for? What are His promises for you?

If you don’t see them delivered today, don’t lose heart.

Hold on to your ticket—your faith and assurance—that He will always deliver on His word.

You may need to act. Or you may need to wait and persistently ask.

Both require boldness and courage and faith.

The Lord’s heart is always good toward us—to heal, to restore, to defend, to redeem. 

He is rich in mercy.

Your answer may be immediate (Luke 8:44), or it may require night-and-day persistent prayer, but take heart because His word is truth, and He always keeps His word. 

Click to Tweet: When we don't see the outcome, will our belief persist? @Grace2Write shares a lesson from two persistent women. 

An Update on The Waiting Game

I’ve been asked lately how things are going with the fiction book I wrote last year, and for whatever reason, I don’t feel discouraged about the progress until I have to give an answer to someone.

When I realize that my answer is the same as it was the last time—or that I’m still waiting—I feel like I should have more to show for my efforts.

One of the most important takeaways from the ACFW conference last year highlighted how slow the publishing process is—and, for me, I’m glad I know that so I can expect to wait, a lot.

But equally as true as the wait time from an agent shopping your book proposal with publishers to securing a contract to seeing your book in print, I’m learning, is the process for finding an agent.

Maybe I’m doing it wrong, but I didn’t want to send out my book proposal or manuscript to any and every agent, so it’s been a lot of wait-and-see (and check the inbox all. the. time).

I finished the book last January.

In September, I met with three agents and one publisher at the ACFW conference, and I had two agents ask to see the manuscript. 

In October, I sent the manuscript to the first agent who requested it.

In early January, I received her reply (which I’m still saying is the nicest rejection email I’ve ever seen).

And toward the end of last month, I sent the manuscript and proposal to the second agent I met with.

And now, I’m waiting again… 

I did have encouraging conversations with two editors who said (noncommittally) that I could send them my proposal—and I have thought about sending them my proposal as is, without an agent representing me, but I guess the thought makes me nervous. 

What if I burn a bridge with an editor because my proposal is not as sharp as it would be/will be when I have an agent? Could we still send the proposal to that publishing house later? 

(Side note: If you, dear reader, know this answer or have advice—please share! :) )

So, I’ve had a lot of waiting lately, but this week the Lord reminded me that the best is worth waiting for.

Our culture tells us that everything should be instant—the law of immediacy—which is counter to God’s law of sowing and reaping. Instant gratification is not necessarily true gratification—sometimes the hardest work has the sweetest reward. 

I wrote in my journal—years ago—the greater the desire, the longer the wait, the higher the risk for disappointment but also the highest and sweetest return. 

I’ve said before, I’m not much of a risk taker, but God has taught me so much about the risk that’s always worth it—trusting Him, trusting His plan, trusting His timing.

My sweet Mimi called me last weekend to tell me she was praying for my book—and after I had told her that I still didn’t have an agent yet, she said so matter-of-factly, “You will. Because you’ve got a talent. And God’s going to use you. Just be patient.”

I know she’s a little biased because she’s my Mimi, but her reminder could not have come at a better time: just be patient.

"Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway." - Earl Nightingale

When I saw this quote on Facebook, it resonated so much within me. The time is going to pass anyway. Why not pass the time pursuing my dream?

If I’m really committed, then I’m willing to risk.

And if my risk is to trust Him with my future, then it’s really not a risk at all; it’s the safest bet I can place.

Besides, one of my favorite Christian fiction authors, Charles Martin, said he had 86 rejections before his first manuscript was published. Today he's a New York Times Bestselling Author. I told my family—I guess if I get to 87, I’ll ask God if I missed it. J

And in the meantime, I'm working on Book 2 (squeeeeel!), and I'm willing to learn as much as I can about the craft of writing. (Second side note: I'm going to this local ACFW writer's event in April. Anyone else going!?) 

Dear friends, what are you waiting for in this season of life? What risk is He asking you to take?

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